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10 Daily Techniques to Heal Your Life

What lies beneath your façade?

The carefully created mask that hides your smouldering wounds, the pains of your past, the memories tucked away deep within you. Ensuring you cannot see, feel or remember them. And the world does not need to know your pain, for surely you would be seen as weak and vulnerable should anyone else know your truth, and your fear of rejection implores you to run from your pain, to survive.

You tell the world, through your Instagram perfect life, that you are not just surviving, that you are in fact thriving. The face. The hair. The clothes. The shoes. The bags. The career. The partner. The house. The children.

Tick, tick, tick.

The layers of your perfect life determinedly conveying that you are enough to a world that demands you be enough, or so you have convinced yourself.

Why, if you are enough in your eyes and those who judge you, does the emptiness scream louder each day?

Why, with all that you have and all that you are, does the void expand?

Why are you so unhappy, despite having it all?

This is not what you have been sold! You were convinced that if you crafted your life in such ways, then the niggle of unease would go away. The anxiety that dances around the edges of your every day, mocking and threatening to obliterate the world that you know. The façade that you have created to convince yourself and everyone else that you are in control of your life, is suddenly at risk of shattering.

The darkness looms, like a storm brewing off-shore. Will it land or will it pass?

You battle, desperate to retain control of your manicured life, filling the aching nothingness with more in the hope it will go away. More of what you have convinced yourself makes you happy – more of what society has told you will make you happy!

You shop more. You eat more. You drink more. You exercise more. You socialise more. You gamble more. You work more. You study more.

More sex, drugs and rock and roll, right? Maybe not, but you know your fix.

And you use it ever more often to silence the inner restlessness, to keep that void of emptiness filled and ensure that the festering wounds of your past, hidden deep within do not get a chance to surface. Your addiction of choice starts to take over. But you do not have a choice. This is survival now and everything is at stake, you don’t know another way. You need your fix too much to stop now.

You are convinced that if you stop your fight, let go of the habits and behaviours that are now trapping and controlling you, that you will fall deeply into the darkness that has threatened you for so long.

But here’s the truth, no matter how well your wound is concealed, it will remain and persist in taunting you when you least expect it. The feeling of inadequacy for not being selected in a school sporting team, is activated 20 years later when you miss out on the work promotion that you desire. The sense of failure and inadequacy flooring you, the memories of a dad leaving you, boyfriends cheating on you, friends ditching you – secretly scream at you from within. All desperate to remind you, that you are not enough. That you are not good enough and here is more evidence to reinforce that old subconscious belief.

It is painful and it is frightening because it feels so big, and you do not think you can handle these reminders of your past – so you take control and you run back to all that silences your hurt and makes you feel calm and safe and happy once again.

Until it doesn’t.

Your journey through life is a constant transformation. And to grow, you must let go of the fight to stay who you are and the life you have crafted, and learn to embrace change. True transformation begins when you see your pain as a pathway for your growth. When you hit a dead end, there is only one place to go and that is deeper into the dead end.

You have turned and run in the opposite direction for way too long.

The darkness is not your enemy. The darkness is your ticket to freedom.

Do not doubt your ability to remove the root cause of the disturbance inside of you. It really can go away. You can look deep within yourself, to the core of your being, and decide that you don’t want the weakest part of you running your life any more. You want to be free of this.

You must face, acknowledge and honour that which you have avoided for so long. To heal any wound, it must be tended with love, given what is needed for the rawness to settle and the tightness to loosen and to enable the strength of your inner wisdom to thread the pieces of your broken heart and soul back into place. The meticulous balance of energy attached to the wounded memory will interweave new thoughts and beliefs, strengthening the stitch that will hold you together when next you face a trigger.

When you allow yourself to consider the dark corners of your soul and surrender to it, you allow the tension within you to begin to release, and the light that has been patiently waiting, to slip into the void of darkness, infiltrating your pain, your memory, your wound. As the light within you expands, you begin your healing journey, becoming stronger and more centred in your true self.

When you make the choice to change, and embark on this healing journey, you need tools to support you. The following 10 techniques can be used daily to help you remain centred and focussed on your healing, and to flow through your transition with greater ease and grace.

1. Journal

Switch of your mind and allow your subconscious to write each morning for 10 minutes, releasing the debris carried within your energy body. Writing is a powerful therapeutic tool to enable the release of subconscious thoughts and memories.

2. Be IN Love

The vibration of unconditional love, is the most powerful of all vibrations. In activating this energy within yourself for short periods daily, you raise your own vibration and enable unconditional love to fill your energy field and support your healing. Find a quiet space and tune into the vibration of love and sit in this space for at least 10 minutes each morning.

3. Sleep Deep & Wash It Off

With the conscious mind silenced while you sleep, significant transformation occurs on the subconscious level, with much of your conscious healing work being integrated whilst you sleep. Sleep must be a priority when you are growing and evolving, so aim to be in bed by 10pm. When you wake, cleanse your physical body by showering and washing away the remnants of sleep and any other energetic toxicity that has been released whilst you slept.

4. Stay Centred & Grounded

As you begin to shift, your energy fields will begin to change. It is essential as this happens to stay connected to earth, with your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. Being present with the experience, centred in yourself and grounded enables the healing energy to move through you and your transition to happen with greater ease and grace. Spend time in nature, gardening, crystals, essential oils etc to stay grounded.

5. Switch It Up

Be aware of your emotions and use your breath to move through your emotions as they surface. Do not label them as good or bad, simply acknowledge them and allow them to pass through you. Attaching to them, creates further blocks and will slow your healing. Practice the art of feeling, seeing and releasing, use your breath or blow bubbles to assist you.

6. Fill Your Cup

Do something daily for no other reason that makes you feel good. Feeling good raises your vibrations and the higher your vibrations the more efficient your energy field is in releasing that which no longer serves you and will support your transformation.

7. Shake It Out

Connect with your memories and emotions as they surface, the time for running is done. Allow yourself to feel them in your body, place your hand on the spot where you feel the emotion rising and then begin to move with your feelings. Allow the innate wisdom of your body to guide you in your movement (dance / tai chi / yoga – it doesn’t matter the name, it is all about movement). As you embody the energy of your memories and their emotions and move with them, they begin to release. Continue to move until you feel a lightness fill the space where the emotion was being held in your body.

8. Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others

As you heal, be gentle with yourself and each day write a list of things you forgive yourself for (at least 10 each day). As you move deeper into your healing, you will be called to forgive others. Do not force this, but sit with it and simply open your heart and allow yourself to write a list of why you forgive the person on your mind. You may need to re-do this many times. Forgiveness of yourself and others is the key to your freedom, and while any resentment or blame towards yourself or others remains, you will continue to be disempowered.

9. See Your Magic

Open your eyes and see how magnificent you really are, remember who you really are and reconnect with her by writing a list of all the ways you are magnificent (at least 10 each day). Self-love takes time to grow, but if you water it daily it will flourish over time and will prove to be one of the most powerful tools in your transformation.

10. Say Thank You

Remember gratitude as you move through the day and make sure you express it. Even in the discomfort of the dark corners of your soul find something to feel grateful for. Gratitude will balance the intensity of the darkness, by bringing through the light. While you may be in enormous physical or emotional pain, finding gratitude in some part of the experience eg. I am grateful for the love I am feeling from my partner; I am grateful for the warm blanket that surrounds me as I curl in foetal position, will raise your vibration and assist the heaviness to lift. When you are in true gratitude, you cannot feel your pain – the two cannot co-exist in that moment.

If you are ready to release your façade and share your true self with the world, you must do your work. Choosing simple, yet powerful daily techniques will support you as you rise and face the dark corners of your soul. As your inner wisdom is reactivated, you will be guided you on your journey home and you will emerge in your truth in the world.



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Finding Her

Do you remember her?

I know you do, because you feel her missing. That is your loss. The ache that tells you that something is amiss, that things are not where they are supposed to be. That you are not who you are supposed to be. The seed of unease that makes you fluctuate between frustrated anger and nervous anxiety. The seed that sows doubt and destroys your confidence. The seed that keeps you seeking for more outside of you because you never feel enough within you. The seed that compels you to follow the path to finding her. 

I know you remember her, because you miss her. Your every struggle in life is because you feel her missing.

You are frustrated with your inability to move forward, like there is something holding you back. You don’t know how to move forward and you don’t know how or where to begin in finding her.

It feels like there is a huge mountain range before you and while you want to traverse that mountain range and find what is on the other side, you keep telling yourself it’s too big, it’s too hard, it’s not safe. You tell yourself you don’t know what’s on the other side. But you do know. You can feel it deep within and that is why it keeps calling to you. That is why you feel so uncomfortable every day. Because you have this nagging deep calling to go to the other side of that mountain and find her.

You know she is there.

You hear her calling to you and you want to go there. You desperately miss her, you long for her. The girl you once were. The woman you once were.

She is waiting for you on the other side of that mountain and she believes in you. She doesn’t blame you for forgetting her. She has been with you through it all. She knows your pain. She knows your struggle. She knows your fear.

She understands why you have avoided visiting that mountain that lies between you and her, distracting yourself with the busyness of your life. It is all so busy and such a welcome distraction. Because you don’t want to go there. You are scared to look at that mountain made up of your memories, your thoughts, your emotions, your pain, your struggle, your anguish.

What if it all comes back?

What if I fall apart again?

What if it hurts?

You think in avoiding it and pretending it is not there that it doesn’t impact on you. The more you ignore it, the more power it has over you.

The shadow of the mountain is diming your light and you don’t even know it.

You have become use to living your life in this way. You have become accustomed to the darkness, the emptiness, the fear, the pain, the struggle. You have forgotten that it can be different. While you continue to choose to avoid looking at the mountain, your pain, then its shadow will keep you trapped in your life and who you are.

Your true freedom can only come when you decide that you don’t want to struggle anymore, that you don’t want to stay in the shadow of your past. Your life will change when you choose to be the creator of change and step forward with courage to face that mountain, knowing that your true self resides on the other side, beckoning you to come. She compels you to join her in light and fulfilment; peace and joy and ease.

The first step is often the hardest, and yet it is always the most powerful. When you say ‘yes I am ready to change’ and ‘I am ready to look beyond what I have been told my life is and can be’, when you decide that you no longer want to live in the struggle that you have found yourself trapped, then you can start your journey in finding her.

She resides within you. She always has.

For you are whole, there is nothing missing from inside you. You are already complete, you always have been. And as you own your story and look within the layers of your past and honour the pain and struggle that have kept you separate from her, from your wholeness, you will progressively unravel the layers and open the door to her.

As you invite her back into your life, you will remember that she is all contained within one body, one energy, one soul. She is all that you are and is all that you could ever need.

Your pain is her pain.

Your struggle is her struggle.

Your anguish is her anguish.

And she will hold you and guide you along the path back to her. And as you reconnect to her, see the glimpses of her emerging into your life, your desire to be her will become stronger than your fear of changing. And as you release the resistance to change, you will unlock a deep power within that will bring you back to her, and allow your life to transform to all that you could possibly desire it to be. As you progressively unravel your emotional baggage, you uncover the freedom lying within your body, mind and spirit and reconnect you to the beauty of your soul.

She is ready for you. She is waiting for you.

In losing you, you open yourself to finding her. 

She is powerful. She is beautiful. She is magnificent.

She is you.


Image by: Mickael Gresset, Unsplash



A Recipe For Disaster – Transformation Without Integration

I write, sitting in the sunshine, loving the feel of warmth and spring in the air. I feel change happening all around me and within me.

It is a time of shedding the layers and preparing to rebirth.

Winter can be likened to the hibernation period of cave man times. It feels like many people have been taken into the darkness of the cave and had to sit in their darkness over the last little while, particularly the last three weeks.

Sometimes when we emerge from that transformational cave at the end of a long dark winter, where we have shed so much of ourselves, our old stories, old pain, old programs and old emotions, we come out the other side somewhat depleted. It takes time and space to integrate those big changes.

In today’s world, we rarely give ourselves the time or space to integrate changes.

I was having a discussion on the weekend with my mum and sister about the mothering experience and how it has changed over the years, from the time my mother birthed us to us birthing our own children. Sadly, I feel, these days women do not give themselves the time and space to integrate the huge change that occurs physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually that occurs when we transition into motherhood.

Societal expectations around what new mothers should do, has deeply programmed so many of us. I realised that I was wearing almost as a badge of honour that I was ‘back to normal’ cleaning a house, doing grocery shopping, cooking, running around to activities within 2 weeks of having my little man. Four pregnancies, one miscarriage and three Caesarean births in under four years, and I still didn’t give my physical body, let alone my mental, emotional and spiritual body, the time nor space that I needed to integrate the huge changes that I had experienced.

Nope, just get on with getting on!

Isn’t that what we are told to do these days? No time for rest, not only do you have to be back to normal ASAP, you have to have that bikini body ready to go within weeks too!

Seriously how far have we taken things!

Becoming a mother is a sacred experience. And like most sacred transformational experiences in life, we have bastardised it. We have lost the sacredness of not the birth as such, but the transition into motherhood. Once upon a time, and it wasn’t that long ago, women were given the time and space to move into this new form. This new person. Integrate the deeply profound changes that are activated when transitioning into motherhood.

Once, there was a village that supported the mother. Who allowed her the time and space needed to replenish to integrate and to fully transition from one state of being to another. And here is where I see we are making huge mistakes as we transform. Societal expectations have changed so much that we do not allow ourselves what we need to integrate our changes.

We head back to work when we are sick before our body has finished healing.

The loose ends left untied.

We jump back into life after having a baby before our body, mind and spirit has settled into becoming a mother.

The loose ends untied.

We jump deeply into personal growth and healing work and jump straight back into life after a treatment; yoga session; meditation before the integration has had time to settle

And when the loose ends are not tied, they can be pulled. And you can quickly get pulled out of the new version of you, back into the old version of you.

And where are you then?

You are neither here nor there – and that feels really uncomfortable!

If you don’t allow yourself the time to metaphorically settle into your new home, the place where your inner being exists, then you will never feel completely settled here. You will continue to get pulled into there ie. where you used to be.

When we move house, whilst somewhat challenging and exhausting, we create the time and space, to completely move house. You don’t leave some things here and some things there if you want to make a clean break. Start afresh. Create a new life. Truth be told some people don’t make that clean break, for example when people move out of their parents’ home or when people move from the family home during a separation. When this happens, their energy is not settled in either place, as part of their energy remains in that space.

It just doesn’t make sense to leave remnants of your wardrobe in the place that you have moved on from, or are trying to move on from, because then you will just have to keep going back to that old home. Where you used to be. Who you used to be.

Taking that extra time and creating that extra space to complete the transition and the transformation of your energy from one to another is vital in tying off those loose ends and cementing in the changes.

Every client I work with has work to do following their session and this work is equally if not more important than the session itself. Because it is in this time that the integration of the changes takes place. And sometimes this requires specific things to be done to cement these changes. Simply coming in for a treatment, taking a ‘hit’ of energy so to speak and not committing the time or space to the next part of the transformation, is wasteful.

The changes won’t hold.

You will regress to your old patterns and behaviours.

You have to do your work.

And to do your work, you have to honour the experience, by creating the time and space to do whatever it takes to cement yourself into the new version of YOU.

I didn’t honour the experience of becoming a mother the second and third time. I absolutely did with my first baby. I relished the bubble that I was in, basically because I wasn’t working after almost a decade of intense full time work. And I felt I had permission to be in the bubble. No one had any other expectation of me, and if they did, I didn’t allow myself to hear it.

And that still feels like the happiest, freest and easiest year of my life.

Sadly I didn’t take that into my next phases of motherhood. I have previously written about my challenges here. And as a result of that, there were a lot of loose ends left hanging, that saw me constantly pulled back into old programs, beliefs and way to many shoulds, dictated to me by fear programs. My long and somewhat turbulent relationship with fear was previously dissected here.

But I have learnt from these experiences and I choose to share my learnings with others.

And what I am seeing at the moment, is lots of people coming out of periods of big change.  The last couple of weeks have been particularly transformational. Yet, I am seeing and sensing so many people coming out the other side of these changes, weary and depleted by the experience and yet not allowing themselves to do what is needed to replenish, integrate and cement in the deep energetic reprogramming that has occurred.

I urge you to listen to your body, listen to your heart, listen to the wisdom that exists within you, and as you move through your changes, as you transform into YOU, give your SELF whatever it asks to complete your transformation.

Riding the wave of change is one thing, whether you hold on and ride it through to the end and tie up those loose ends is another!


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