Unravelling Fear: A Transformation From Survive to Thrive
Do you know that when you are feeling stressed, the primitive part of your brain takes over and prepares you to FIGHT, FLIGHT OR FREEZE? This amazing structure evolved to keep us safe in case a Lion, Tiger or Bear was about to attack us, way back when! But somewhere along the way, we have messed with this structure and it kind of gets ‘overworked’. Our perception of danger has gone all skew if, because we live in a society that values and in some respects, relies on fear!
We have become programmed to be fearful, always prepared for danger. When really, on most days in this blessed country in which we live, most of us can move through the day with little, if any real danger.
Yet our perception is quite different to this reality.
We fear what other people think of us;
We fear that if we try something we might fail;
We fear that we don’t have enough time to get everything done;
We fear we don’t have enough money;
We fear we will do, say or be wrong in the eyes of others;
We fear that we aren’t as good as other people;
We fear that we aren’t enough physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually (it is true that there are plenty of very ‘enlightened’ people who still compare themselves to other ‘enlightened’ people and fear they aren’t spiritual enough).
We Fear. We Fear. We Fear.
All this constant fear puts us in a state where many are constantly activating a stress response. The result of this is surges of adrenaline that in turn has significant effects on the physical, mental and emotional body.
When being attacked by our friendly Lion, Tiger or Bear, we really do need certain physical and mental functions – like running really fast and being able to breath properly – our system has to be on high alert, we need to be ON – you know that wired feeling, ready to bounce if and when we need too!
But to be ON in this way, the blood supply and energy flow must divert itself from other areas, so it can be used where it is needed most. For example, we don’t need to digest food when we are being attacked, nor do we need our reproductive system – it’s not the time or place people! What we do need is our Cardiorespiratory System (heart & lungs) and our Musculoskeletal System – we need an abundance of energy hitting those muscles to help us get away! It’s survival!
And in these situations, we also do not need certain parts of our brain. Our primitive brain (limbic system) is designed for these situations. ‘I’ve got this’ it wisely tells our Prefrontal Cortex (the part of the brain that is responsible for cognitive functioning) and so the blood and energy flow to that part of the brain switches off!
We don’t need to THINK; PROBLEM SOLVE; REASON; RATIONALISE; MEMORIZE at these times.
We must just SURVIVE!
And herein lies the problem!
Today, so many people are ruled by fear, which in turn makes us feel extremely uneasy in life, a feeling we commonly term anxiety. In this state of being, we cannot function optimally. We are functioning in a state of survival not in a state of thriving.
In survival mode, we cannot think clearly, we cannot reason, we cannot rationalise, we cannot problem solve, we cannot relate well with others, we cannot connect to ourselves. And when we are being attacked by a Lion, Tiger or Bear we don’t want to do any of those things.
But where not being attacked! We are so not being attacked!
And somehow we and our children have been programmed as if we are. The result being we all struggle through life. We move through life as if it is a battle, as if it is just about our survival – when it really is about so much more than that!
When I hear of children and teenagers who are trapped by fear and living their life in a state of stress and struggling each day just to survive, my heart breaks a little.
It does not have to be this way. We as parents, as mothers and fathers, have a responsibility to break this cycle, so that our children live without fear, so that they can function optimally – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
How do we do that?
There are just so many ways we can achieve this and no its not super easy, but it doesn’t mean we don’t do it. We put enough energy into lots of other ‘hard’ things in life, yet something like this often gets put on the backburner, because it feels way too hard to change. Sometimes it feels near impossible to de-program ourselves from the conditioning that our parents, teachers, friends, society, media, Government and Corporations have intentionally or unintentionally exposed us too.
The truth is, it is not too hard.
How can it be too hard?
It is your children’s wellbeing, their happiness, the fullness of their life experience at stake.
Call me naïve (you won’t be the first), but I see it as simple as unravelling the tangled knots in a necklace. While it may take time, the transformation CAN occur, we can change. Look at the magic that happens in nature every day, the most beautiful of transformations, that seem impossible but happen so naturally.
There are 5 key things that are needed to create the unravelling that will transform the fear conditioning of fear and return us to a place of love, peace and calm:
– Clear Intention
– Strong Commitment
– Dedicated Focus
– Patience to allow it to unravel at its own pace, and
– Letting go and trusting that it will unfold in the exact way that it is suppose too
My intention is to help people unravel to come back to who they really are, which is not a person who is simply here on this earth to SURVIVE the experience.
My intention is to bring you back to who you really are at your core, the essence of your being, which is a person who is here to thrive and shine and make a difference in other people’s lives and in turn, make a difference in the world.
We aren’t all meant to be Albert Einstein; Isaac Newton; Marie Curie; Martin Luther King Jr; Mother Theresa; Oprah Winfrey etc. No, we are meant to be our SELF and through being that person, then we can live our life from a place of love, not from fear. And in this way, just by being that person, we can change the world in the most profound way.
Yes, I am passionate about this.
This is the way I do my little bit.
And I’m going to keep doing my little bit, because every little bit counts. And maybe it will become a big bit, just one piece at a time!
Every person I work with; every person who comes to one of my workshops; every person who reads my words or hears me speak…they can all unravel a little and in that unravelling they come closer to who they are, and they in turn can impact on those around them in the most beautiful way – and so the ripple continues.
You too can make a difference.
The first step is having the courage to step forward and say I am ready to change, I am ready to unravel, I am ready to come back to who I really am.
You can check out the different ways you can work with me here.
One of my upcoming workshops might just be your first step!
Energy for Exams
Staying Calm, Confident and Clear Amidst the Chaos
This workshop is designed to help those young people preparing for their HSC exams to manage their energy so that they can function optimally. This means, helping them to understand where the fear, doubt and anxiety is coming from, how it is impacting on their ability to study and retain information and their performance in exams. I then teach these young people how to release those emotions, calm their energy body and direct energy to their mental body in such a way, that it can perform optimally – not shut down because it is constantly feeling under attack and needs to survive.
We want it to Thrive not just Survive.
For more information Energy For Exams
Emotional Energy Reboot
A Workshop for Mothers
This workshop is designed to teach mothers how to stay calm, clear and confident amidst the chaos of daily family life. As mothers, we are fundamental in the conditioning that our children receive. If we operate from a place of fear – which can present as anger, anxiety, frustration, withdrawal, isolation, resentment and many other emotions, then our children learn to operate and live their life in this way.
Our neurology is comprised of Mirror Neurons. These fascinating little neurons are designed to absorb what is being shown to them, and then mirror it. While this is great when we are teaching a child how to eat with a spoon; how to write with a pencil; how to brush their teeth and wash their hands, but when we show them we react to life with fear; with anger; with blame; with resentment; frustration etc etc, then those mirror neurons, by simply doing their job, condition our children to mirror this energy; thoughts; emotions; behaviours.
If we can be Calm and Confident and Clear during those stressful moments of the day, we are giving our children the greatest gift imaginable. We are mirroring to them how to operate from a place of love not fear. And the more we practice, and yes it does take practice, because it is a re-learning of an old skill and in practicing we become more proficient, then the more we condition our children to live their life in this way.
When we remain calm and do not react from a place of fear, we do not go into survival mode and as a result we are able to utilise our pre-frontal cortex and make rational, reasonable decisions. When we exchange the emotion of anger for calm then we can thrive as a mother, instead of simply trying to manage ie. survive another day!
And when we stay calm. Our children stay calm.
When we live our life from a place of love not fear, our children learn to live from a place of love not fear.
This workshop is powerfully transformative and participants leave not only feeling fundamentally different within themselves and in their approach to motherhood, they also take away a toolkit full of resources to help them practice becoming the mother that they desire to be.
For more information Emotional Energy Reboot for Mothers
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