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The Truth About Growth: It Takes Practice

The concept of personal growth can be very appealing, but there are some truths about growth that need to be understood before embarking on your journey of transformation. Peeling back the layers can not only be painful it can be exhausting. As each layer is removed, a new version of the SELF is birthed. A new SELF that must be nurtured, that must be discovered, that must be settled, that must learn how to BE in the world.

And all of that takes time, patience, practice and a whole load of courage. Because when the going gets tough, it is ever so easy to step back into the way things were.

The old you, remember her?

The one you no longer wanted to be.

Those old habits, those old thoughts, those old beliefs, those old feelings – all those which you have completely outgrown, yet bizarrely feel comfortable due to their familiarity.

And so you settle back into the old version of your SELF because it is easier – you know how to do it and even if it is painful and an endless struggle, who know it and for that reason it is the easy option – the well-worn path.

And finding your way on that new path, the one that you have desperately desired and worked so hard to reach, is exhausting!

It is all new and new can be scary – there is fear in the unknown.

Oh, but there is excitement in the unknown of growth too.

There is possibility.

There is adventure.

There is discovery.

There is hope.

Yet, your old SELF is like an old pair of shoes, you know she can do the job, there is no unknown, so it is safe, and……. just a whole lot of more of the same. The same which you became tired of. The same you outgrew. The same that you desperately tried to escape from.

But it is so easy to go back!

And that is the merry dance that many do as they grow, as they evolve, as they change, as they take new paths.

And so you dance, sending yourself slightly crazy, with your inner being fighting with itself.

So how do you stop the dancing?

The uncertainty?

The confusion?

The inner critic slamming you for not staying put?

The fear constantly luring you back into the ‘safety’ of your old life?

How do you step into this new version of SELF wholly and completely and hold your SELF in this new space, in your truth, as the new version of you, in the new life that you have created?

It is simple really: You Practice It!

And then you practice it again.

And then you practice it again!

The key to growth is practice.

And you do not stop until it is so ingrained in you, that you cannot NOT be this new version of you.

Just as a baby learning to walk takes that first step and falls before getting up and falling again and getting up and falling again….so she practices until she cannot imagine not being able to walk – in fact she cannot understand how she never could, so easy and familiar it has become.

Just as the young child learns to read, she must practice and practice, each letter becoming familiar, each sound becoming familiar, each word becoming familiar, until they all just fall into place and words form sentences, sentences form paragraphs, paragraphs form chapters and chapters form books. And before she knows it she is devouring big thick delightful books and she cannot imagine how she could never have been able to read, so easy and familiar it has become.

And that is why you must practice BEING in this new version of your SELF, because it must be learnt, like any new skill – you must learn how to BE her.

Energetically, you are operating from a different vibration and you have to get use to how that feels. It is like moving from being a 60W light bulb to a 240W light bulb, it feels different, it looks different, it impacts differently on the world around it – and it takes time to get used to being at this new vibration. It takes time for the energy fields to integrate, like the neural pathways being laid as a baby learns to walk or a child learns to read, our new energetic body is being laid and solidified. New emotions and thoughts which create new beliefs and evolve into a whole new mindset.

All of this takes time and space and practice. Transformation without integration is a recipe for disaster, which I recently wrote about.

There will be teething problems just like anything in its infancy.

There will be wobbles. And those wobbles may even turn into a fall, right back into the old you.

But wobbles are an expected part of growth.

In fact, wobbles are a gift, because if you don’t wobble then you don’t learn. Every time you wobble there is an opportunity to learn.

Showing yourself compassion when you wobble, rather than criticism and judgement of yourself as a failure, enables you to discover where the wobble is coming from.

Gently asking yourself why you are struggling, why you are anxious, why you want to give up – allows you to see deeper within yourself and with this understanding you are able to address where these issues are coming from, rather than sweeping them under the rug, where inevitably they will present themselves at some time down the track.

When you wobble you learn.

And when you learn you adjust your path slightly, amending that which was not fitting right within you, that which was getting in the way of your flow in this space. And then you can step forward again, more assured of your path and more assured of your SELF on this path.

Sure you can believe that growing is not always easy, that it is not a walk in the park to smell the roses. But it certainly can become a walk in the park to smell those roses, if you do your work, give yourself the time and space to integrate and practice and learn how it is to BE this new version of you, the person you have grown into, the person you have desired to become.

Do not give up on her, you have come too far already in your growth to go back.

And if you go back, I guarantee you will soon be looking to jump out of that space again, because you have outgrown it and you are not meant to be there anymore.

Believe in yourself and do your work – everyday. And maybe, just maybe, you might find that this whole growing and evolving thing, this thing called Life, may actually turn out to be a little fun after all.

Have fun with your growth and exploring who it is you are to become!


Why Am I Here?

Soul Purpose.

Soul Purpose.

Soul Purpose.




I hear those words weekly from clients.

I read those words daily online.

I feel people constantly searching for their reason for being.

I’ve been exploring this concept for decades – both within and outside of myself.

Why Am I Here I pondered as a child looking deeply into the Universe as the moon and stars danced in the night sky.

Innately knowing there was more and curious as to what part I played in that.

Why Am I Here I mused with my best friend as we sat drunk on the beach watching the waves crash to shore and delving deeply into the meaning of life.

Having absolutely no bloody clue what is was all about, but doing a really good job of making the most of the experience – whatever it was meant to be.

Why Am I Here I desperately queried in my mid-twenties as I finished a second University degree.

Increasingly frustrated that despite all the hard work it still didn’t feel I had found my ‘thing’. You know, your thing!

Why Am I Here I laughed completely bemused at the ludicrous situation in which I found myself as I wondered through a massive brewery and manufacturing plant, which it seemed was my responsibility to ensure its safety.

Top of my industry; nailed the sought-after gig; scored the fancy income to reflect it – yet instantaneously realising, that this certainly was not why I was here.

But I did it anyway. Too proud to admit that I knew it wasn’t right and that I was so far off path it was not funny. Yikes that was an uncomfortable 5 years!

Ohhhhhhhhh….but what am I here?

The thoughts still plagued me as I moved through the motions of life, feeling that I was existing rather than truly living.

And then, as my baby girl was placed in my arms for the first time, I immediately remembered why I was here.

And oh my, how I was suddenly able to breathe knowing I had found my why and I allowed myself to fully immerse myself in my reason for being.

I was in love and I was happy and just like that my reason had appeared.

Yet sadly this reason seemed to disappear, gently fade away…….lost again.

Four years and another 2 babies later, I was brought to my knees and I once again I begged for the seemingly elusive answer to the question of all time, why am I here?

Dripping in guilt and shame, I finally admitted to myself, that my children were not my only reason to be here.

They should be enough. How can they not be enough? You’re a bad mother to think they are not enough’, my deeply programmed subconscious challenged and berated me.

Oh, the shame!

Oh, the guilt!

Oh, the internal emotional trauma.

I wasn’t happy. And in that space, nothing felt enough.

Distraught I needed to find Why Am I Here.

Now here is where I could say, well I stumbled into Kinesiology and remembered why I am here.

Maybe for a while I thought that I had found the perfect combination, Kinesiologist and Mother.  That combined they were my reason for being. They were my purpose.

But then the world seemed to tell me that as a mother I am not enough unless I’m doing X Y Z.

And then the world seemed to tell me that as a business woman I am not enough unless I’m doing X Y Z.

And then the world seemed to tell me that as a healer I am not enough unless I’m doing X Y Z.

And then I allow the world to take away my happiness as I allow myself to feel that I am not enough and that I haven’t nailed it at all. That I haven’t found my reason for being.

And then I get the courage to tell the world to shut the fxck up and I listen to something so much wiser than all these apparent worldly voices.

I listen to the truth that only my inner voice can speak. She knows me, she knows my inner world and she knows why I am here.

And I finally see it all.

And it’s so simple!

It’s not about who I am here or why I am here or what I do here or how I do it here.

It is about how I feel while I am here.

And if I am simply happy because I am doing things I love to do that make me feel happy, then my reason will appear.

So, in a round-about, yet insanely simple way, the reason why am I here is to be happy. Doing the things I love in life makes me happy. So do those. They are my reason.

And I know that my happiness, and my vibration when I am happy, has a more profound effect on the world than anything I could possibly do! My reason is to do that which I love so I can BE HAPPY.

Simple Einstein!

Just do what you love to do and allow yourself to be happy. Invite the vibration of happiness into your life daily, instead of all the other drama, negativity and BS.

And if there isn’t room for happiness in your life, and you think that this is an overly simplified view of life, then I invite you to test the waters. Just choose to be happy. Choose to do that which ou love. Life is too short to do what makes you unhappy, right?

And if you feel too stuck in your old stuff and you don’t think you have room for happiness, then I invite you to do your work; shift your stuff; release your emotional energy and exchange your lost, confused, empty experience for happiness…..and I assure you, that your reason for being will appear, just as mine has, just as so many of my clients have.